Dave is gone. After another amazing week together, he went back to New Orleans on Sunday. I’m not sad per se, but I realllllly freaking miss him. Silver lining? At least I can fart whenever I need to.
I’ve been a little hesitant to talk in depth about Dave on here. This is NOT a private, anonymous blog. Most of my friends know about it, and DAVE knows about it. I had told B (Dave’s “bestie”) about it that day I took him sightseeing around NYC, and he’s been following it since then.
(Funny story: B told me he had to stop reading my blog after my disgusting cashew story. But when he and Dave were up here in June, we were at dinner when suddenly he turned to me and said, “You know, when you first wrote about the Bouncer back in December, I knew right away that he was married or something. The payphones, no cell phone…I knew he was in a relationship!”
My response: “Jesus, B, it would have been nice if you had told me!”)
So yeah, Dave was aware of the blog’s existence before he came up in June, because B had mentioned it to him. We’ve talked about a little since then, and at one point he asked me for the address. I was nervous but I gave it to him. I’m not embarrassed by/ashamed of anything (and he’s not the type to judge me), but the thought of him reading my stories from the past two years made me feel a little…exposed.
But I don’t know if he ever actually read it. At that time I was having issues with the mobile version of my site, and then a few days later his phone was stolen. I don’t know if he ever went on the computer to look at the blog, but he hasn’t mentioned it again since then. That was about a month ago.
The truth is, at the moment I’m actually more uptight at the thought of my friends reading this post than I am about Dave reading it. They know all about Dave, of course, but I haven’t really told them the extent of my feelings for him, because it’s only been two months and I don’t want them to think I’m crazy.
I am so in love with him. Completely smitten. And he is in love with me. (Of course, you can never really be sure what another person is thinking/feeling, but I don’t doubt his feelings for me for one second. Sometimes you just know, you know?)
We’ve already discussed our future together: me moving down there, us getting married, having kids, etc. In a normal situation it would be wayyyy too early to talk about these things, but in a long-distance relationship I think you HAVE to talk about them, just to make sure you’re on the same page and not wasting each others time. But I did follow the “rules” by not bringing any of this up before he did. Lol.
When I tell it to my friends, I’m like, “Yeah, so if our feelings don’t change between now and May then I’ll probably move down there after our next busy season” (I work at an accounting firm, and our busy season ends in April). I give them all these qualifiers, like “maybe,” “probably,” and “if things stay the same,” because that makes me sound a little more rational, like I’m not planning to completely uproot my life for a guy that I’ve only been with for two months.
But I am! I have fallen so hard for Dave, and unless something crazy happens between now and May, like he cheats on me, then I AM planning to move down there. I’ve already started planning it – going through my clothes and getting rid of things I don’t want or wear anymore, giving my mom some furniture and paintings that I wouldn’t want to bring with me, etc.
And I’ve already told my mom about it, which is a huge step for me because I don’t usually tell her much when it comes to guys. She’s sad, of course, but she’s been really supportive and said that I should go for it, because I have nothing to lose. Worst case scenario, I can always come home. And she’s right. It helps that she’s met Dave (twice) and she really likes him.
So yeah, that’s where I’m at now. Waiting patiently for Dave’s next visit at the end of September. I don’t think I’ve mentioned that I’m going to Australia at the end of October. For THREE weeks. I am super excited for the trip, but I booked it before Dave was in the picture and now I’m like “Fuck! Why did I waste soooo many of my vacation days?!” Factoring in the trip, I’ve only got 2 sick days and 2.5 vacation days left for 2013. Which means that between now and the end of December, Dave is going to have do all of the traveling to see me. In January I’ll go down there for a week, then he’ll have to come up here between February and April because I can’t really take off during busy season, and then, FINALLY, it will be May and I’ll head down there for good.